Dr. Advice #1

I am here to help. It’s what I do. I am a helper. I remember when I was young I had a turtle in a shoe box. It was in the box because I wanted to help it. The stick was also placed in the box to be helpful, to make it feel more like home.

That turtle didn’t make it and to this day it’s left me filled with regret. If only I could have been more helpful. To make this right I am determined to use my powers of help on you by writing this advice column: Dr. Advice.

Our inaugural question was sent in by “Amy” from “Massachusetts” who wants “advice”:

“I am a writer and I am applying for a local grant to do a residency with a stipend in Stockbridge. I have never applied for a grant before and I think this would be an amazing opportunity for me. Can you give some some advice about how to increase my changes of receiving this grant? Thanks!”

A great question. Many people are unaware that the process of issuing grants was started early in 1933 by newly minted President Franklin D Roosevelt in an effort to make busy work for the nation’s unemployed and somewhat literate population. The first grant created under this project was entitled My Summer Vacation and offered a $20 cash grant for the best essay on the topic. Successful far beyond the original scope of the endeavor hundreds of full time salaried evaluators were eventually hired to handle the overflow of grant applications. (Incidentally the winning essay involved a depiction of endless lazy days spent at the local swimming hole and charmingly awkward depictions of adolescent love, many of which were later depicted in popular Works Progress Administration public murals of the day.)

The G.I. Bill, Tittle 9, desegregation, and the promise of fun depicted in Co-ed Naked T-Shirts of the 90’s have all swelled the ranks of the college educated in our nation since the 30’s. With this we see an increase in the skills necessary to write modern grant applications and evaluate those applications. Recent estimates would put the grant writing and issuing industry at 22% of the nation’s GDP if they could only find a way to make these activities fit a loose definition of “product”. With this growth has come intense competition.

When jumping into the shark tank of modern grant writing you would do well to remember a key element highlighted by the history lesson above. The person reading and evaluating your grant application is just as scared as you are. With the lion’s share of fund raising and endowment money going to pay salary and operating expenses, foundations find themselves queezy when they come upon a stand out application. Poorly written, incomplete, and inappropriate applications are much less stressful to process. Actually handing signed checks out to strangers for things like community development and furthering the fine arts is not for the faint of heart and can become a slippery slope toward financial insolvency.

When you are writing your grant application visualize literally holding their hand through the process. Consider visiting the physical offices of the organization and personally putting the application in someone’s hand. Try to make your hand make contact with their’s while handing over the papers. Linger there. Use your intuition. If they aren’t pulling away it may be an invitation to go further. Communicate your empathy with and appreciation for the hard work they do. Listen. Sometimes all it takes is listening. Move your hand to their shoulder and squeeze gently. Is there a lot of tension? Are they leaning into your touch? Go with it, it’s natural. Tell them about what this grant would mean to you. Speak truthfully. Speak close to their ear. Be sure to highlight how your efforts dovetail with their mission statement.

Amy, I wish you the best of luck with your grant writing and I hope that this was helpful. I hope everyone reading will consider writing to Dr. Advice with their own very very very personal questions. I really want to help.